Sunday, September 12, 2010

week 3 theme setting and dialogue

The scene takes place in the laboratory at EMMC; I’m the new girl in training with Wendy, a long time phlebotomist and employee of the hospital. I’d already done a few random blood draws in the lab, but today, I’m learning to how properly fill my tray and read the reports for draws on the inpatients located on the various floors. My trainer, Wendy seems vaguely familiar to me but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t mention anything so I can give myself a little more time to figure it out.

“So Wendy, how long have you been a phlebotomist”? I questioned her as we were leaving the lab with our filled phlebotomy trays heading toward the employee elevators.
“Oh, I’d say about 10 years or so, give or take” Wendy replied “and I’ve loved every minute of it”. She continued on by saying “I have met some pretty incredible people over the years, but there’s one patient in particular I’ll never forget; she stole my heart” as she pushed the button for the 4th floor.

“Stole your heart”? I asked while stepping into the elevator with her “what do you mean”?

Wendy began her story with “A few years back, I met this elderly woman in ICU while on one of my runs”. “Even though she was in severe pain, she never complained about anything, even if I had to wake her at 4am for her blood draw”. She went on by saying, “Each morning when I went to her room to rouse her and take her blood, I would apologize to her first thing”.
She would always reply “Oh honey, it’s ok; you’re just doing your job, dear” and give me this big smile with her eyes just a twinkling. Wendy went on…“She had the face of an angel and a heart of gold”.

“I just couldn’t believe how someone in so much pain could be so kind each and every time I drew her blood”! Wendy exclaimed. “I was so relieved when she was finally placed into a private room on the 3rd floor” she concluded. “Actually, it was kind of ironic, because I had asked my supervisor if I could continue on with this patient and she had requested the same”! Wendy said with astonishment in her voice.

“Seriously Wendy”? I questioned “Do they even allow that”? As we stepped off the elevator heading to the nurses’ station to check our patients charts.

“They did in this case” Wendy bluntly said, “and I feel privileged to have known this incredible woman”. “I loved to listen to her stories about her family and her grandchildren” she continued, “there was some kind of innocence to this woman, I don’t believe she had a mean bone in her body” Wendy stated as she flipped through our first patients medical chart.

I cut in and asked “Wendy, do you still keep in touch with her”?

Wendy’s expression changed as she hung her head and quietly said “Oh, no, she passed away shortly after she was moved to her private room” as she closed the chart.

“I am so sorry to hear that” I expressed with compassion “what was wrong with her, I mean, what was her diagnoses…..was she in a car accident or something”?

Wendy looked up at me “no, it wasn’t an accident, she was full of cancer” she confirmed. “Apparently she didn’t like doctors and was sick for a very long time but wouldn’t tell anyone”. “Eventually, she broke down and told one of her daughters in which she immediately brought her in to be checked.” Wendy let out a big sigh and continued “when the doctors did the exploratory surgery, she was so full of cancer; it spread sepsis throughout her body, which is why she spent so much time in ICU”. “They had to close her up and let nature take its course, it was too late” Wendy stated in a matter of fact tone.

For some reason, the words that Wendy just spoke struck a chord and stopped me suddenly in my tracks. “How long ago did you say this was”? I knew my eyes were wide with intent while I waited for her reply.

But it was like she didn’t hear me ask her the question and she continued on “I’ll never forget her stories” as Wendy’s face softened while she spoke “her voice was so gentle and whenever she expressed her thoughts of someone who was dear to her, she would always say that she loveded them, not loved them but loveded them”. “She was just so….genuine, so innocent” Wendy said as her face brightened with a smile.

My heart started pounding as the epiphany grew stronger, my voice on the brink of quivering “Wendy, what did you say her name was”? I already knew the answer and remembered why Wendy was so familiar to me at that very moment.

She spoke her name like it was her own; “Theresa” Wendy said “Theresa Veillette” as she looked in my eyes and saw the onset of emotion.

“She was my grandmother” I whispered as the tears ran down my cheeks.

She immediately grabbed me and gave me a big hug, “Oh my God, I can’t believe it”! “Your grandmother was the sweetest person on the planet”! “I loved her so much”! Wendy cried out. “I’m so sorry”!

“It’s ok, really, I’m fine” as I struggled for words. “My grandmother led a wonderful life; she not only made my world a happier place but she touched so many others as well. With mixed emotion I explained “I think these are tears of happiness, I’m just so overjoyed to hear she affected your heart in that way, too”! I exclaimed. “Just this morning I was trying to remember where I knew you and it was here of course”! I continued. “But you look so different”.

Wendy explained “I’ve lost aver 60 lbs and I’m much healthier and happier than ever before”. “Your grandmother taught me a valuable lesson about my health and well being” she went on “She made me promise I would take care of myself and I have, I never break promises” Wendy stated with a warmness in her tone. “She was an angel sent from heaven”.

Wendy and I have remained friends over the years. We’ve laughed, cried and reminisced my grandmother’s final days and the impact she made on so many lives in her short time with us here on earth.

Theresa Mary Veillette (1926-1988)

19 comments:

  1. Whew, what a coincidence, what an amazing story, what a validation of your love of your grandmother--all this coming from a stranger.

    You tell the story through dialogue with economy, no wasted effort, but we have the feeling we are getting it all, everything that happened that day and what it meant.

    For my money, I am still a fan of the simple 'said.' To some extent that's a matter of taste and there's no disputing one taste over another.

    But every fancy verb and adverb slow it down for me: stated, explained, quietly, questioned and so on. The only fancy verb I would allow you if I were the boss is "whispered." That one adds something.

    Just a technical issue: a quotation has a pair of quote marks at the start and finish, even if the quotation is multiple sentences. But each sentence does not need its own pair.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, it was pretty amazing!
    I'll be more careful with my quotations next assignment...thanks for the heads up (it's been a longggggg time since I've had to use them! since high school!)
    I know you asked us to keep it simple but I felt the only way for me to describe the "expression" of the tone so to speak was to use use some of those fancy verbs & adverbs
    (for this particular essay, anyway)
    I completely understand how busy you must be considering how many papers you have to read through and have to comment on...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am busy, but when I said 'slow it down,' I didn't mean that I was in a hurry to make my tee off time and your essay was in the way. I meant that a reader and a writer have a little relationship, and it's the writer's job to see that it goes smoothly. The reader is talking to the writer as he reads what the writer is saying to him!

    So I'm saying, 'OMG, darlene, humm, yeah, I can picture that, uh huh I can imagine that, I...what? softened? brightened?!!! WTF, oh, all right, john, keep on, keep on, let's see where were we?'

    That's what I meant by 'slow me down'--stuff like that makes this writer anyway lose his concentration and the thread of conversation.

    The real point is that if you are giving stage directions like softened & brightened, you're over-writing, you're not confident, you're not letting your material breathe, you're trying to force the reader. If your story is a good one, and this is a great one, it doesn't need fancying up--its power and beauty come through.

    Didn't you ever read Cinderella? The ugly sisters get all gussied up. Cinderella is simple--and beautiful just because she is beautiful and doesn't need jewels and fancy stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OK, I hear what you are saying, adding all the stage direction is basically over-writing and can cause loss of concentration for both the writer and the reader. And of course I've read Cinderella; I just never thought of you as a golfer!!! LOL

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  5. Ha, hahaha…I didn’t think so; I certainly got a chuckle out of your analogy though! Good humor!!!

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