Friday, November 19, 2010
week 12 risky rewrite
There was a point in my life when I wanted to give up. When it first came on, it was very unsettling, but once it got to the “don’t give a shit stage” I was at my calmest. I was working sales at the time and remember waking up that day in a great mood, too happy. The kind of sickening too happy when your over smiling, whistling, skipping around; definitely out of my ordinary. As I was getting ready for my day; picking out my suit and jewelry for the outfit, I jumped in the shower. While showering I remember making up my mind that today would be the day I smashed my company vehicle into a tree at 100 miles an hour. I had contemplated pills but didn’t have the resources. I would never cut myself or blow my brains out because I didn’t want my daughter to find me in that condition. I figured an accidental car crash was the best way out. I applied my makeup, styled my hair and grabbed my brief case. My husband was home that morning and obviously could sense something was different in my demeanor which alarmed him. I thought I was behaving wonderfully and he’d appreciate the happiness I was exuding. Apparently he was too smart for that, somehow he kept stalling me from leaving the house. I don’t remember exactly what he was doing or saying, but that feeling of calmness was slowly slipping away and I was getting infuriated because he was in the way of my destiny. I never did get to leave the house that morning. Shortly after all his prying that feeling of calmness completely left me and I finally broke down. After some pretty intense therapy I've learned how to properly control my emotions during difficult situations. Never again will I allow myself to get to the point in my life where I'd give it up.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Look, what if I asked you to write something risky about making breakfast this morning or playing with your grandson, or paying your bills--something much lower impact than suicide plans. Could you? Would you have an approach?
ReplyDeleteya maybe I can write about frying bacon in the nude. Would that work as a risky topic?
ReplyDeleteSarcasm, eh? Nah, I think you're done with this theme, darlene.
ReplyDeleteYou have written in risky ways before, ways that startled the reader, and no doubt you will again. I'm satisfied
Actually I was serious! When Tim and I first started dating, one morning after he stayed the night he came downstairs to me making breakfast in the kitchen with just an apron on. That's pretty risky isn't it?
ReplyDeleteFrisky more than risky, I'd say, unless that bacon is really spattery--there's the risk!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm, Maybe that isn't the "risk" factor you're/I'm looking for either......This has been a tough writing week. I don't understand why I can't seem to grasp it. I really thought I was rocking them out the begining of the week, but I'm feeling a bit unsure if I can pull off week 12 and give you what you're looking for or actually what I should be looking for to write. I've checked out week 13 and feel confident I'll be able to write small to big; visa versa.....Would you like me to try this risky one more time or leave it to rest?
ReplyDeleteI think you're snakebit and overthinking it and probably best to leave it lie.
ReplyDeleteBut think about it.
The theme of the week is 'risk.' But that's not the topic of the essay necessarily.
A risky topic does not necessarily mean a topic about risk--in fact, by choosing a high-impact topic, as you did both times, you make it harder to see whether you're really taking any risks in the writing.
Remember writing vignettes and leaving stuff out--that's risky. Or letting words carry symbolic weight and mean more than themselves? That's risky. Juxtaposing bits of your technical job description with some actual moments from your day might have been ironic and irony is always risky. That sample phone conversation I included has a million risks in the relationship between reader and writer--most people who read it, esp women, hate it. There's a risk! Or the date with an English teacher sample?--I nearly had a heart attack when I read it the first time! What if someone thought I really was dating a student??? That was a risky topic! Or take a look at some of the past 162 writers--check out the one by Mr Casanova (I'll say no more....)