effect essay

When I married my second husband, I thought it was going to be forever. He was a romantic, handsome poet; he’d have flowers sent where I worked; just because. He’d rub my head without me even having to ask; just because. He treated me like a queen, how did I ever deserve a man like him? Yes, I thought he was a keeper until I found out what a cheating whore dog of a man he really was. I should have known, I probably did, but refused to admit it, until the day came I wanted answers. Once I asked that question if he was cheating, my life changed in an instant. The three effects of marrying this unfaithful man resulted in heartbreak, near financial ruin and a very nasty divorce.

When I say heartbreak, I mean heartache, humiliation, paranoia, confusion, hopelessness; the list goes on with the countless waves of emotions you experience after you find out the man you are not only married to but are madly in love with cheats. Infidelity destroys trust and racks havoc on your physical and mental health. I heard from so many people he was messing around, and I was in complete denial. He would come home from work, shower and go out all hours of the night to go see the guys or fix something for a friend. Then one day I asked him flat out, “are you cheating on me” and he replied, “no, it’s not cheating, I love her” I can still vividly remember sliding down the wall in the living room in complete awe feeling like all the life had been expelled from my body at that very second. It was from that moment my life changed dramatically.

After renting for some time, we decided to buy our very own first home. We both had full time jobs; he was working as a maintenance manger (how he’d met the first one) and I worked at the hospital. For obvious reasons, once he told me he was a cheating pig, I threw him out and he did leave. The consequences of not having his income in the household were devastating. I was a scorned woman, I was the one suffering so I figured he’d still pay on the bills since he was the cause of all this disruption, he was the one in the wrong!! That was not the right answer, he did not help pay any of “our” bills and I was spiraling down the drain of financial despair quickly. Hard to believe someone so loving and kind could be such a bastard by not only ripping my heart out, but by continuing to make things worse by sitting back and watching me go bankrupt trying to keep that house afloat.

The day finally came for our day in court. I took that asshole for everything we owned, well as much as I could, or should I say what was left. During the process of the divorce many thing were sold, toys in particular. The boat we used for waterskiing year after year, our snowmobiles and the new/used Harley, gone. I even had a macaw that had to get sold because she wasn’t paid off and I couldn’t afford to pay for her. He bought Tallulah for me as a gift in exchange of work, which he never did. That sucked so bad having to sell my pet because he wasn’t able to follow through on anything. So, yah, I did take him for everything, because I was so angry at the time of the divorce. When we left the court room, and as I was driving out of the parking lot, I nearly ran him and his female lawyer over. I swear to this day he was screwing her, too. Should have seen the look on their faces; priceless.

It has been years since the divorce; I’ve moved on, learned to forgive and forget. I can safely say from experience, if something or someone seems too good to be true, that probably means it isn’t. Listen to your gut before you get emotionally involved and marry an adulterous man; save yourself the pain. It's true time heals, but there are so many other things in life to enjoy rather than wasting your time healing from the pain of a bad marriage.